STOP! A key a factor in coaching reflection

You know your client is reflecting deeply when there is a noticeable stop or pause in the coaching conversation. Indeed, stopping or pausing is a crucial factor in the process of reflecting and therefore the process of discovery. When clients talk about their coaching insights, they frequently use the words stop, hang on, sit down or go back. This precedes the process of reflecting. Thus, stopping is essential for effective reflection.

 

In fact, when you notice your client stopping to think, you know you have just done something to trigger their reflective process. Usually you’ve just asked what they call a ‘powerful question’ and when you’ve successfully engaged your client in deep reflection, you don’t want to interrupt it, and you need to make plenty of space for full engagement in the reflective process. This kind of space gives clients time to reflect on and discover their own answers. Silence is the key here, and it often results in “forcing” clients to reflect and discover answers to questions. Often times they may have already had questions like these float through their minds, but they didn’t stop to answer the question. This is where coaching provides a real difference. Clients actually stop to do the thinking and it’s in that space that the answers emerge.

 

 

This process is sometimes referred to by coaches as holding the space, which is simply the act of allowing clients the time to engage deeply in reflection. Thus, when we’re holding the space as coaches, we’re actually holding our clients in reflection. Therefore, making space is crucial in the process of allowing our clients to reflect and for learning to emerge. Coaching gives clients the opportunity to reflect and then, through the process of coaching, clients typically make more space in their lives and devote more time to reflection, thus fostering the outcome of self-coaching.

 

Reference:

Griffiths, K. (2008). Discovering, applying and integrating self-knowledge: A grounded theory study of learning in life coaching (Ph.D). Centre for Learning Innovation, Queensland University of Technology.

 

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